Monday, February 18, 2013

Stuck

So, it has been three months since I last posted here and the simple reason is that I am stuck. Really stuck. I am still reflecting all the time but those reflections are all jumbled and confused and I can't quite form them into a blog post that doesn't sound like I am angry or complaining. I am struggling with many new initiatives in my district. I am usually very good at sifting through all of the "new ideas and plans" and finding the things that I can get behind. I am still trying to do that but there is just so much new "stuff"* to learn/balance/deal with that I am feeling befuddled and confused.

I can usually focus on my personal goals for my professional development but even that isn't happening right now. I don't have the time or energy needed to read new professional books, blog posts or tweets.

I have kind of dropped out of the online community I was part of and I miss it. I have tried to push myself to reengage but when I do I feel like I can't keep up or spend any energy focusing on new ideas that I want to try. I did try to force myself to participate in #1stchat last night but it still felt forced to me.

I do still love my job and the time I spend with my crew but all the other "stuff"* is hard to manage right now. I can push those thoughts and feelings aside when I am with my students but as soon as they are gone it all comes rushing back.

Yes, I know that I sound depressed and I probably am. I also know that I am usually very good at pulling myself out of a mild "depression" by creating new plans for myself and my professional development. I know that I will get a handle on this eventually. In the meantime, I am simply stuck.

* "Stuff" could include but is not limited to:
  • the uncertainty of working without a Collective Bargaining Agreement
  • Backwards Planning
  • BAS - Balanced Assessment System
  • Restorative Practices
  • GVC - Guaranteed and Viable Curriculum (our version of CCSS)
  • the application process to the Discovery program - gifted and talented program
  • implementing the 4Cs including explicit teaching and assessing of them
  • the discussions around what creativity is and isn't
  • pay for performance
  • CITE - Continuous Improvement of Teacher Effectiveness
  • World Class Outcomes
  • PGIs - Professional Growth Incentives
  • relearning old vocabulary to fit new ideas - formative, interim, summative and performance assessments
  • Sustainable Learning Strategies
  • teaching other 21st Century skills
  • Integrating World Class tools
  • differentiating instruction
  • creating a teacher e-portfolio
  • and more
(Some of this "stuff" may be great. My problem is that there is just too much of it to manage right now even when I look carefully and pick out the things I am already doing, there is still a lot left.)

4 comments:

  1. Oh Jill. You have said exactly what I am thinking and feeling. Being a teacher is hard right now, and being a teacher in our district may be even harder. It helps, in some ways, to know everyone is struggling with this. I'm sorry you're feeling stuck and overwhelmed. We're all there with you. :)

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  2. Little comfort...but we feel much the same in NJ!

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    Replies
    1. Linda,

      I am sorry that you are dealing with this "stuff", too. Hang in there.

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